Splat
by Ramona Bandicoot
Summary: Teaching someone to paraglide isn't easy when your 'helpful' acronym spells S.P.L.A.T. -oneshot-


**Disclaimer: **I don't own any Sly Cooper characters; they belong to Sucker Punch Productions.

**Claimer: **I own all of my original characters.

_Just a quick oneshot I wanted to post before I forgot about. And I haven't stopped writing __Reunited, __I just wanted to post this as a quick oneshot for the gaps it takes me to write the chapters for __Reunited__. So please read and review and let me know what you think!_

S.P.L.A.T.

"No," Ramona said while I sighed in frustration as I attempted to complete my job. It was a simple task her brother asked me to do but I quickly found out that it wasn't as simple as I had thought. All I had to do was to teach Ramona to paraglide or at least get over her fear of heights but it wasn't going over as well as I had hoped. She was being stubborn and completely refused to even give it a thought. I sighed again as I stared down at the sitting raccoon in front of me. She sat with her arms and legs crossed and a stubborn pout spread across her face. She glanced up briefly before shaking her head like a child and wrapped her arms around her tighter.

"Alright, look," I said as I closed my eyes and rubbed the bridge of my nose, "If you won't try paragliding will you at least look at Bentley's slideshow?" I opened one eye only to find her shaking her head vigorously. I groaned and was ready to forget this whole thing until I realized that's what she wanted. She wasn't going to win this battle and I was going to get her to at least look at the sideshow Bentley had worked on. All he was going to show her was the procedure of actually paragliding and then she would decided to actually try it or not; which I could only assume she would say no.

"I'm not doing it, Cooper. I don't like heights and I don't like flying. If I was intended to fly, I'd have wings or I would have been born a bird. But I'm a raccoon and raccoons don't fly!" she retorted, "Just like they don't swim." she raised an eyebrow and I chuckled as I remembered the time she attempted to teach me to swim and that didn't work either.

"What is so bad about flying, Ramona? In fact, you're not flying," I said as I stared her down, "You're floating to the ground."

"Don't try sugar coating it, Sly," she pointed a finger in my direction, "Look, you see this?" she pointed to the platform she was sitting on. Bentley had decided that teaching her in our training area would be better and safer than letting her loose in the city.

"Yeah, what about it?" I questioned as I folded my arms across my chest and raised an eyebrow.

"You see how far up off the ground it is?" I nodded, "And do you see that?" she pointed to the ground below, "That's solid concrete." I nodded and still tried to decipher what she was getting at.

"Well," I stated, "You've managed to point out the ground and the platform," I smiled in her direction, "I think you're getting somewhere." she scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Shut up, Cooper," she mumbled before grabbing one of my paragliders and showing it to me, "You see this? This is cloth. Do you really believe that a hunk of cloth is going to carry ninety-eight pounds of raccoon to the ground safely? I don't think so. Why do you think people in the military have their names on everything? So that they can identify the bodies of the idiots who jump out of planes, that's why." she tossed the paraglider beside her and crossed her arms again. I shook my head at her logic and laughed.

"That's not why, Ramona. They do that so everyone doesn't get their stuff mixed up." her eyes went wide and she nodded.

"That's what I'm saying! Each parachute is made specifically for their body so they don't die!" she practically shrieked.

"No they're not! Ramona, just give it a try." I groaned as I realized I was getting no where.

"No!" she shouted back and huffed in stubbornness. I rolled my eyes and twisted her so she could stare at the empty stop in the wall. If she wasn't going to try paragliding then I was at least going to get her to watch Bentley's slideshow on how to paraglide.

"Alright, Ramona," Bentley's voice came over the intercom in the training hall, "I'll show you a simple and easy acronym for paragliding." she growled softly and huffed but at least she was willing to watch Bentley's presentation. Each slide had the letter in his acronym and what each stood for on it.

"First, we start with 'S.' The letter 'S' is for squatting. You start off by squatting before leaping and using the paraglider. Now, we move onto 'P'. You're going to prepare yourself to jump, so I use the letter 'P'. Then, you're going to leap, which is 'L'. Now we move onto my favorite, 'A'. You're going to ahh!" her eyebrows knitted together and she looked up to me.

"Ahh?" I nodded before answering, "Yeah, that's what you're supposedly yelling on you're way down." I never understood that part of Bentley's logic but I went with it.

"Ahh." she said as she finally understood and refocused her attention to Bentley's presentation.

"Then finally, you're going to touchdown on the ground, so the final step is to 'T'. And all together that spells S.P.L.A.T. Any questions?" he asked when he was finished. The final slide had his acronym going down vertically and their meaning written next to each word.

"Yeah, I have a comment," she said after Bentley had finished, "Your 'helpful' acronym," she paused briefly, "spells 'splat'." the smile I had on my face quickly went away at her comment and I started carefully at the screen. She was right, the letters spelled out the word 'splat'. Now, it was certain she wasn't going to learn now. I groaned, slapped a paw to my forehead, and shook my head.

"Nice going, Bentley." I muttered when I realized Ramona had certainly won this argument.


End file.
